I Think I Have Writer’s Block
I think I’ve tried to write this out like 10 times, but every time I start typing I get overwhelmed and delete it. There’s no reason for the hesitation, it’s not like I’m about to confess to a crime or something. I just don’t feel confident in the words I’m typing. Which leads me to this post: writer’s block.
I know, it’s paradoxical post because I’m writing about having writer’s block. But my brain is shut off and I’m putting all my trust into my fingers to tell this story. The thing is, I have a million ideas I want to share with all of you I just can’t physically type them out.
It was planned to share a life update with you. There was so much change in May and June, but when I type I ramble on and it doesn’t sound good. So long story short: I moved into an apartment, saw all my roommates graduate (yay them!), and started going to the gym 3 times a week. Doesn’t sound like a lot but I don’t do amazing with change. Watching all my roommates and fellow classmates graduate while I sat in the audience was kinda shitty. It’s not a huge deal to take an extra semester, year, or a few to graduate. I just felt kinda lonely.
My weekends have been filled with hanging out with friends or moving things back into my bedroom (our floors were replaced in May, that’s my cat, Hades, enjoying the new floor in the picture below). My week is filled with working from 9-5 and going to the gym. Which I love both and wouldn’t change anything about that (never thought I would see the day when I could say that I love going to the gym!). I just feel like I have no time to take photos or write a post.
So how did I finally get this post out? Well, a therapist once told to “fake it until you make it”. I was struggling with my social anxiety at the time, and she said that sometimes it’s best to just pretend you’re comfortable in a situation and maybe someday you will be.
So this is me faking it.
I’ve lost the confidence in my writing, so I’m putting myself out there and sharing my writing anyways. And I’m not going to lie, I actually really enjoy just writing what’s on my mind and not caring about anything like grammar (see, I started the sentence with ‘and’) or what people will think, it’s my blog and I think I forgot it was. I was holding myself to high expectations which could be achievable for other people, but aren’t for me.
If you’ve come here because you too have writer’s block then try writing without any expectations or any thought. My English teacher and parents called this ‘word vomit’. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and do what makes you happy.